Honorable Chairman Sam

Cynical, handsome, loud, hubristic, and over-analytical, Sam Rude is a cybernetic trilobyte manifesting itself in beautiful human form. Also a huge dork. There are allegations that he is a male stripper, and a damn good one at that. When he's not making fun of people who like Magic The Faggering, he looks for more people who like Magic The Faggering to make fun of.

Aliases

 * MEGAMIND
 * Samwhal
 * Admiral
 * Samuel (Don't.)
 * President of the Matt Madden Fan Club

Quotes
"Mirrors are the prettiest things I've ever seen"

"Nothing makes me cry more than wasted yoga pants"

"σ-σ"